Motherhood: Expectation VS Reality

As a mom, everyone else’s needs come before our own. Physical and emotional. That’s part of the job description. The fact is that raising kids demands every ounce of your being, and it is taxing indeed.

If you know me, you know that I am not a people person. I value my personal space for multiple reasons. Now that I have kids, the need for personal space is very strong for me. I need to be able to escape to the bathroom for a few minutes sometimes to just breathe and recollect myself. I easily get overwhelmed and struggle with anxiety, so establishing physical boundaries for myself is one way I cope with my anxiety and control my temper.

My oldest daughter is very much a physical touch person, she needs lots of hugs and physical reassurance from me. I really struggle with this because of my personal space issues, and sometimes she pushes me past my limit. I hate that I feel this way. I want to be able to take care of her needs and also my own for my own sanity’s sake. I have had to put my own feelings aside and work on being there for her in the way that she needs.

My middle daughter is just like me. She doesn’t like giving hugs and runs away if you ask. She likes to play by herself and rarely needs any attention unless she’s asking for food. Girl after my own heart. Sometimes I feel bad that it is easier for me to deal with my middle daughter being that she is low maintenance just like me. The truth is though that I really appreciate that she needs less from me so that I can give more to the one who needs it most.

The baby is, well she’s a baby. She depends on me for everything but she is strong willed, just like her dad. I have a feeling that she will be more on the independent side as well just from what I have observed so far. I see more of her personality every day and love getting to know her more and more as time passes.

Every waking minute is spent taking care of everyone else in the family: running kids to school, going to the grocery store, cleaning the house, doing laundry, dishes, cooking and more cleaning. It never ends. This is life as a mom, and I love it, but I need to take care of myself too, or else I will not be able to take care of everyone else to the best of my ability. I wake up exhausted even after getting a good night’s sleep. I suffer from depression here and there and push through. I try hard to get everything done and find time for myself as well, otherwise I would snap.

Mom’s finish last. It’s just the way this life is. I’d be lying if I said I never wondered what my life would be like if I never had kids. I’m human, and sometimes I fail as a mom. I let my kids down, and sometimes I let my husband down. I don’t mean to. I get angry and yell or say things I don’t mean. Some days are just pure torture, and I sit in the shower and just cry. There are times that I want to just get in my car and drive as far away as I can because everyone is driving me insane.

I think as moms we are our worst critics. We expect perfection, and see all the perfect moms on instagram bragging about how amazing their life is and how much they love being a mom. Their houses look immaculate and they take their kids to do all these amazing activities, and they are always SMILING. I see them and wonder, how do they do it all?

It’s not fair to compare yourself to anyone else. The truth is that behind the perfect instagram is a mom struggling just like everybody else, and I feel sorry for them that they feel the need to pretend to be something they are not. Give yourself a break, Momma. It’s hard enough as it is trying to raise your kids. Sometimes just surviving the day is the best you can manage, and that’s okay! Take time for yourself, take a shower, catch an episode of your favorite show during nap time, or take a nap yourself! The laundry and dishes aren’t going anywhere.  

You are a good mom. You are doing a great job taking care of your kids. If you feel like it’s not enough ask yourself this: Are the kids fed? Do they have clothes and food and someone who loves them? You are enough, and you are doing enough. You aren’t the only one struggling to keep it together today, I promise I’m right there with you. Motherhood is the hardest, most underappreciated job there is out there sometimes, but it is the most worth it. I wouldn’t trade it for the world.

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